...and The World Continues
Many of you are my dearest mates from the States, in Australia, and the most fabulous new friends Tinto and I met while travelling abroad.
It means a great deal to me that you check in from time to time and read what has been happening in our lives.
On this last birthday of mine...this past Halloween...a dear, kind, tough, good-looking benevolent man lost his MOST precious wife to suicide.
People - we never, ever know what someone else is experiencing.
I do realize that many of my posts are written from my heart - far too many, no doubt. At my age I should be able to deal with anything tossed my way. I get it. My heart does not.
This young woman was the kind of woman you look at and you instantly 'see' - 'know' that she has everything she has ever wanted. She not only was gorgeous to look at and petite, she was an art teacher and you could see that she was adored by her students. I had only begun chatting with her through fb (and fb - I will remain forever grateful that your platform brings people together) and she shared a ghoulish, gory body painting she was capable of creating for Halloween. It blew me away! I stressed that I needed and wanted HER HERE with me, at least, by next Halloween. Now, ever so sadly, that will never happen.
Upon reflection, I remember seeing two cryptic posts, most recently, about depression and anxiety. What an idiot I am because I presumed that those particular posts could/would never be about her, but they must be about her young, impressionable students whom she was teaching and guiding along in life. You knew she cared very much about them.
And, now...especially those whom loved her dearly, are asking themselves why they did not reach out or comment to her specifically and let me, please share and reiterate...that our posted comments or our texts would not have diminished her pain. We could not have wished the big, black burden of despair out of her head.
Having lost a most precious son to suicide, the first male born in 4 generations of my family, I have had a lifetime to think about this. The professionals tell us that once a decision has been made...the outcome is most difficult to recast.
Still does not make the aftermath any better. A hole is in a family...in a circle of friends...and a wonderful man is no longer walking through life with his chosen woman by his side. He, more than likely, is surviving in a vacuum and trying to decide how to get through the next minute, then the next night, and then - he has to get up and face another day all over again...without her.
Life is brutal. Mental illness is rife amongst us. More young children than ever before are experiencing serious and debilitating depression and anxiety. I do not have any answers. Suicide has been noted in history since the beginning of time. IF a person has made a decision to end his or her life it is simply because the pain has become intolerable.
The last thing anyone needs to do is judge or to make unnecessary comments.
Our divine duty is to support, provide comfort, a shoulder upon which to lean, and to listen...with BOTH ears while our mouths are tightly shut.
Since Halloween my heart has been with this family in the States. I wish them comfort and peace and, hopefully...the fact that a daughter, a wife, and a teacher gave so many people joy and understanding will let them breathe just a little easier and help them find a way to travel forward.
Posted with extreme sadness and a wish that we could find a way to help people cope with such a bitter enemy of the mind...
Blanco of The Roaming Stevens
PS: Please excuse any typos.
It means a great deal to me that you check in from time to time and read what has been happening in our lives.
On this last birthday of mine...this past Halloween...a dear, kind, tough, good-looking benevolent man lost his MOST precious wife to suicide.
People - we never, ever know what someone else is experiencing.
I do realize that many of my posts are written from my heart - far too many, no doubt. At my age I should be able to deal with anything tossed my way. I get it. My heart does not.
This young woman was the kind of woman you look at and you instantly 'see' - 'know' that she has everything she has ever wanted. She not only was gorgeous to look at and petite, she was an art teacher and you could see that she was adored by her students. I had only begun chatting with her through fb (and fb - I will remain forever grateful that your platform brings people together) and she shared a ghoulish, gory body painting she was capable of creating for Halloween. It blew me away! I stressed that I needed and wanted HER HERE with me, at least, by next Halloween. Now, ever so sadly, that will never happen.
Upon reflection, I remember seeing two cryptic posts, most recently, about depression and anxiety. What an idiot I am because I presumed that those particular posts could/would never be about her, but they must be about her young, impressionable students whom she was teaching and guiding along in life. You knew she cared very much about them.
And, now...especially those whom loved her dearly, are asking themselves why they did not reach out or comment to her specifically and let me, please share and reiterate...that our posted comments or our texts would not have diminished her pain. We could not have wished the big, black burden of despair out of her head.
Having lost a most precious son to suicide, the first male born in 4 generations of my family, I have had a lifetime to think about this. The professionals tell us that once a decision has been made...the outcome is most difficult to recast.
Still does not make the aftermath any better. A hole is in a family...in a circle of friends...and a wonderful man is no longer walking through life with his chosen woman by his side. He, more than likely, is surviving in a vacuum and trying to decide how to get through the next minute, then the next night, and then - he has to get up and face another day all over again...without her.
Life is brutal. Mental illness is rife amongst us. More young children than ever before are experiencing serious and debilitating depression and anxiety. I do not have any answers. Suicide has been noted in history since the beginning of time. IF a person has made a decision to end his or her life it is simply because the pain has become intolerable.
The last thing anyone needs to do is judge or to make unnecessary comments.
Our divine duty is to support, provide comfort, a shoulder upon which to lean, and to listen...with BOTH ears while our mouths are tightly shut.
Since Halloween my heart has been with this family in the States. I wish them comfort and peace and, hopefully...the fact that a daughter, a wife, and a teacher gave so many people joy and understanding will let them breathe just a little easier and help them find a way to travel forward.
Posted with extreme sadness and a wish that we could find a way to help people cope with such a bitter enemy of the mind...
Blanco of The Roaming Stevens
PS: Please excuse any typos.
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