What I shall miss most...
Countdown time for departure is nearing.
The 12th of December, 2013 is the date I arrived in Memphis leaving our Australian home behind and wondering how the future would look. There was no way - no way whatsoever I could have envisioned what was in store for my husband, or me, or for my dear Mother, Judy. One enters 'the caretaker zone' with a sense of responsibility, pride, enthusiasm, and a bit of fear.
To be a caregiver is one of THE hardest roles you will ever tackle, but it will leave you with peace and some sort of sense of accomplishment. Nothing will be perfect. Yes, you will always wonder what you could have done differently i.e., could you have made your parent more comfortable, could you have brought greater joy into his/her life, could you have tried varied tactics of persuasion to convince him/her to be truthful and tell you EXACTLY what they needed or wanted. Older people can speak their minds and do, quite often...but the ones whom have never wanted to be a burden on their children's lives...keep a lot on the inside. You will know that; you will sense and feel it. You navigate through the days, weeks, months, and sometimes years in the very BEST way you can manage. There are some days that you will Thank the Lord above that you did not put your hands around your own Mamma's neck. You have to trust me on this one.
For the rest of my days I will remain eternally grateful that Mom waited for me to return from England to be by her side for her death. Textbook. Classic. Huge.
Of course I miss her and Mom does come in and check on me in my dreams...still.
Now as the return date to Australia is upon me I have that same sense of uncertainty about the future: excitement, sadness, fear, enthusiasm, trepidation, joy, and the feeling of beginning all over again. Mind-boggling! But, at least...my husband and I will be going through this next reinvention phase TOGETHER. That is a big plus.
We will be reuniting with loved ones and leaving loved ones behind. That pull - that stretch of the heart strings never gets easier.
But, immense opportunities have unfolded to our beautiful, integrated families as Marcus and I have three homes throughout the world that our 'kiddos' can visit from time to time. That's magic. Plain and simple - travel is stupendous - doors open, new connections are made, and you get to experience the world with a different set of eyes. You get: A Roaming Education! Spectacular.
Every night is tough - very few hours of sleep because my mind is racing and I cannot turn it off. Then, when I do sleep...the dreams are monumental, vibrant, in colour, and every single night still features someone who has been in my life. It does not matter if the person was kind to me, mean to me, a jewel of a person, or a threat, in my childhood, first, second, or third employers, romantic interest or work colleagues, best friend, and dear mate...these faces and situations present themselves to me and upon waking I rarely know if I am in reality or still inside my dream. It is not that I so much mind the intense movie taking place in my head every night; I DO like seeing the faces so clearly, but it does make me wonder what it all means. I can't help it. I smile and I shrug. These dreams linger throughout the day. It has to be because we are embarking on another great change in our lives. And...as I have said before...as we all know, changes are stressful, whether you want to admit it or voice it outloud - your mind is trying to sort through the past and present to give you a better hold on the future. ??? You think? Hell, I don't know. I know I cannot wait for some decent sleep. I do adore seeing the faces of my childhood friends; those images make me appreciate these people even more and make me realize what each person has meant to me throughout my life. That is good stuff.
I shall miss ~
My most thoughtful daughter and her car radio blasting ACDC, Pink Floyd (my husband would be in heaven!), Eric Clapton, Led Zepplin, much more and most of the music to which I was and still am quite addicted. These old favs of mine are top in my daughter's repertoire, too.
The words that come out of my grand-daughter's mouth and the meticulous way she runs her daily schedule. Her Mother and I are not quite certain she is OURS!
My dearest mates for life scattered throughout the country, but mostly in the South. Mates matter; long-term mates are simply an extension of your family.
CBS Sunday Morning show - THE BEST AMERICA has to offer. This is quite a gift to the world. I do prefer BBC television. Their writers are like no other. BBC is clearly outstanding I have always said, but then...I forgot about CBS Sunday Morning until I returned. This morning's feature was beyond excellent: the discussion of what makes a genius, savants, ESP, mental illness, mental illness and the artist, dementia and creativity, animal minds versus human minds. Every growing mind on the planet should drink in this show every week. When I return to Australia I simply must find it; no doubt it will air around 3:00am, but I will be setting an alarm. YES, I do enjoy This Is Us; it features family dynamics portrayed in a way that is riveting and the viewer really feels as if he has been invited into their homes. This Is Us has superb writers and phenomenal actors. Mad Men? You bet...but only because Don Draper is supreme eye candy and his voice is velvet and I can't imagine any woman (or man I am guessing...) in the world who wouldn't want to HOP into his, well, I'll leave it at that, plus there's Peggy, the other most interesting character. Who in the world would not want Peggy in their corner? I digress.
...the most magnificent margaritas.
...the warm, southern greeting you receive when you enter almost any establishment; melts the heart and brings a smile to your face.
Mel's Place - the very basic, yet delightful gathering place for beer drinkers and pool players. You may walk in a complete stranger, but you will leave with new, genuine friends. WHAT a place - a sweet and necessary contribution to the community. I already miss Sue and Alan.
...daily stomps and singing opera to the cows with no one listening or noticing except for the occasional old guy who requests some company in his car.
...the smell and the feel and the warmth of country Bogart AND the vibe of downtown Athens; can't be replicated.
...one terrorist dog and one very inquisitive and much older cat; my 2 furry and fabulous beings that brought happiness and madness into my Georgia days.
...cooking extremely simple dinners for my grand-daughter and hear her exclaim in awe 'What a chef I am!' - Haaaaaa! Music to my ears. It is very much about presentation!
Of course I shall miss a lot more, but I will admit...I am procrastinating. YOU try to pack after 3 years on and off in a country other than where you reside - it is not an easy task. Then place one very sentimental woman in the mix and, quite frankly, you have a horror story. Today, this Sunday, I am now embarking on my third attempt to pack. What I need is to 'walk away' and have someone without my memories, and love, and sense of obligation do the packing for me. I know that is what my husband wishes...
Posted with some anxiety, cheerfulness, sadness, probably more like every kind of emotion one can feel at one time.
Blurry Blanco of The Roaming Stevens
Looking for some clarity...
An enormous thank you to the 'Interested Persons' whom have chosen to follow The Roaming Stevens thus far. Merci, Obligado, Grazi, Gracias and Cheers!
Below: find an early morning pic of Stripling's. Such a star of a store, plus the little BMW that was parked right next to my relic. OLDER cars ROCK. Then...take a peek into one bedroom where I am trying to make some sense out of the chaos. Help?
The 12th of December, 2013 is the date I arrived in Memphis leaving our Australian home behind and wondering how the future would look. There was no way - no way whatsoever I could have envisioned what was in store for my husband, or me, or for my dear Mother, Judy. One enters 'the caretaker zone' with a sense of responsibility, pride, enthusiasm, and a bit of fear.
To be a caregiver is one of THE hardest roles you will ever tackle, but it will leave you with peace and some sort of sense of accomplishment. Nothing will be perfect. Yes, you will always wonder what you could have done differently i.e., could you have made your parent more comfortable, could you have brought greater joy into his/her life, could you have tried varied tactics of persuasion to convince him/her to be truthful and tell you EXACTLY what they needed or wanted. Older people can speak their minds and do, quite often...but the ones whom have never wanted to be a burden on their children's lives...keep a lot on the inside. You will know that; you will sense and feel it. You navigate through the days, weeks, months, and sometimes years in the very BEST way you can manage. There are some days that you will Thank the Lord above that you did not put your hands around your own Mamma's neck. You have to trust me on this one.
For the rest of my days I will remain eternally grateful that Mom waited for me to return from England to be by her side for her death. Textbook. Classic. Huge.
Of course I miss her and Mom does come in and check on me in my dreams...still.
Now as the return date to Australia is upon me I have that same sense of uncertainty about the future: excitement, sadness, fear, enthusiasm, trepidation, joy, and the feeling of beginning all over again. Mind-boggling! But, at least...my husband and I will be going through this next reinvention phase TOGETHER. That is a big plus.
We will be reuniting with loved ones and leaving loved ones behind. That pull - that stretch of the heart strings never gets easier.
But, immense opportunities have unfolded to our beautiful, integrated families as Marcus and I have three homes throughout the world that our 'kiddos' can visit from time to time. That's magic. Plain and simple - travel is stupendous - doors open, new connections are made, and you get to experience the world with a different set of eyes. You get: A Roaming Education! Spectacular.
Every night is tough - very few hours of sleep because my mind is racing and I cannot turn it off. Then, when I do sleep...the dreams are monumental, vibrant, in colour, and every single night still features someone who has been in my life. It does not matter if the person was kind to me, mean to me, a jewel of a person, or a threat, in my childhood, first, second, or third employers, romantic interest or work colleagues, best friend, and dear mate...these faces and situations present themselves to me and upon waking I rarely know if I am in reality or still inside my dream. It is not that I so much mind the intense movie taking place in my head every night; I DO like seeing the faces so clearly, but it does make me wonder what it all means. I can't help it. I smile and I shrug. These dreams linger throughout the day. It has to be because we are embarking on another great change in our lives. And...as I have said before...as we all know, changes are stressful, whether you want to admit it or voice it outloud - your mind is trying to sort through the past and present to give you a better hold on the future. ??? You think? Hell, I don't know. I know I cannot wait for some decent sleep. I do adore seeing the faces of my childhood friends; those images make me appreciate these people even more and make me realize what each person has meant to me throughout my life. That is good stuff.
I shall miss ~
My most thoughtful daughter and her car radio blasting ACDC, Pink Floyd (my husband would be in heaven!), Eric Clapton, Led Zepplin, much more and most of the music to which I was and still am quite addicted. These old favs of mine are top in my daughter's repertoire, too.
The words that come out of my grand-daughter's mouth and the meticulous way she runs her daily schedule. Her Mother and I are not quite certain she is OURS!
My dearest mates for life scattered throughout the country, but mostly in the South. Mates matter; long-term mates are simply an extension of your family.
CBS Sunday Morning show - THE BEST AMERICA has to offer. This is quite a gift to the world. I do prefer BBC television. Their writers are like no other. BBC is clearly outstanding I have always said, but then...I forgot about CBS Sunday Morning until I returned. This morning's feature was beyond excellent: the discussion of what makes a genius, savants, ESP, mental illness, mental illness and the artist, dementia and creativity, animal minds versus human minds. Every growing mind on the planet should drink in this show every week. When I return to Australia I simply must find it; no doubt it will air around 3:00am, but I will be setting an alarm. YES, I do enjoy This Is Us; it features family dynamics portrayed in a way that is riveting and the viewer really feels as if he has been invited into their homes. This Is Us has superb writers and phenomenal actors. Mad Men? You bet...but only because Don Draper is supreme eye candy and his voice is velvet and I can't imagine any woman (or man I am guessing...) in the world who wouldn't want to HOP into his, well, I'll leave it at that, plus there's Peggy, the other most interesting character. Who in the world would not want Peggy in their corner? I digress.
...the most magnificent margaritas.
...the warm, southern greeting you receive when you enter almost any establishment; melts the heart and brings a smile to your face.
Mel's Place - the very basic, yet delightful gathering place for beer drinkers and pool players. You may walk in a complete stranger, but you will leave with new, genuine friends. WHAT a place - a sweet and necessary contribution to the community. I already miss Sue and Alan.
...daily stomps and singing opera to the cows with no one listening or noticing except for the occasional old guy who requests some company in his car.
...the smell and the feel and the warmth of country Bogart AND the vibe of downtown Athens; can't be replicated.
...one terrorist dog and one very inquisitive and much older cat; my 2 furry and fabulous beings that brought happiness and madness into my Georgia days.
...cooking extremely simple dinners for my grand-daughter and hear her exclaim in awe 'What a chef I am!' - Haaaaaa! Music to my ears. It is very much about presentation!
Of course I shall miss a lot more, but I will admit...I am procrastinating. YOU try to pack after 3 years on and off in a country other than where you reside - it is not an easy task. Then place one very sentimental woman in the mix and, quite frankly, you have a horror story. Today, this Sunday, I am now embarking on my third attempt to pack. What I need is to 'walk away' and have someone without my memories, and love, and sense of obligation do the packing for me. I know that is what my husband wishes...
Posted with some anxiety, cheerfulness, sadness, probably more like every kind of emotion one can feel at one time.
Blurry Blanco of The Roaming Stevens
Looking for some clarity...
An enormous thank you to the 'Interested Persons' whom have chosen to follow The Roaming Stevens thus far. Merci, Obligado, Grazi, Gracias and Cheers!
Below: find an early morning pic of Stripling's. Such a star of a store, plus the little BMW that was parked right next to my relic. OLDER cars ROCK. Then...take a peek into one bedroom where I am trying to make some sense out of the chaos. Help?
When you make it to Bogart/Athens area...you have to see this place for yourself; on the INSIDE!
Look at this little beauty! Her driver was at least my age and he appreciates OLDER MODELS, too! Haaaa!
You know...looking at this from a distance it doesn't look too bad? Perhaps I am
being positive.
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