Hairy Legs!
Early this week I was summoned to the hospital for tests ~ you reach this 'vintage' and this sort of 'stuff' begins to take hold. Yeeeegads. Is it the socialisation or the medicalisation of society trying to keep us under control? It feels like BOTH. I do my best to resist labels from educators and labels from physicians.
No need for you to know any more than this was a trip to the hospital. But, apparently, hospitals in Adelaide and throughout the world, MUST have performed the WRONG operation on the WRONG patient more than once, so a patient is asked multiple times by numerous people their name - they want your name said AND spelled, address, the day you were delivered on Mother Earth and they want to hear from your lips which procedure you are having. Nice. Repeat process, repeat again, repeat...and so on. After 3 suspense-filled hours, I am led to the double-wide, swinging doors in front of the operating theatre and instructed to 'Sit'. A woman came bounding around the corner with a brightly coloured silk scarf wrapped around her locks and pretty blue scrubs. She begins the routine all over again: name, rank, and serial number, then she said that she had one last question. I looked at her and retorted, 'Why on Earth do you need to know if I have HAIRY LEGS?' Stony silence all around. She looked down, bit her bottom lip, turned beet red and gently replied, 'I don't, Ma'am; I need to know if you have HEARING AIDS.' Well for God's sake, I howled. Everyone roared and this one nurse who had her head stuck in a locker came out with her belly hopping up and down with laughter. She came over to me, placed her hands on my shoulders, and said, 'Child, I have had such a hard day and you just ended it on the right note!' I smirked back, 'Hmmmmmmmppphhhh, I probably need to consider a pair.' More giggles and we couldn't stop.
This is what I NEEDED...because I thought someone was going to have to push me through the surgery door. I hopped right up on that table and announced that I had shaved my legs just for them. Lights out.
Is is not THE strangest sensation in the whole wide world that you can close you eyes, lose 40 plus minutes of your life and many people (strangers) get to know what happened to your body, your mind, your soul, your spirit...except for YOU? You never get those minutes back, folks. Then...YOU WAKE UP in completely different surroundings. More than WEIRD. Eerie. Strange. Mind-boggling. Bizarre. I could go on...THINK ABOUT IT THOUGH.
I suppose it would be no different than consuming far toooooooooo much alcohol. Who wants to be that out of control? Admittedly, I have been there, but...thinking about it now - My God - ANYTHING could have happened. That is a very scary prospect. And, why would anyone not want to be aware of what is going on in their own life? Well, pain. Pain for sure. Thank goodness for modern medicine. I don't suppose I would have minded being awake only IF I did not feel any pain.
And, then...there are menacing people who slip insipid drugs into your cocktail of choice to make certain you cannot be in control. Those people are called bastards.
And so...we medicate...we lace our brains with alcohol, pills, pot and/or anything that takes away the hurt or the stress or the madness or makes us relax.
I suppose...
This post turned into something completely different from its beginning. But, the moments I LOST made me think about what my BODY had experienced.
HAIRY LEGS or HEARING AIDS - Hmmmmmmmpffff, still sound similar to me.
Cheers,
From Blanco, the 'Not hearing so well while we roam' of The Roaming Stevens.
PS: Tinto is the MOST FUN person to have take care of you. He even DANCES when he serves you with a SMILE ON HIS FACE!
And, as always, PLEASE EXCUSE TYPOS.
No need for you to know any more than this was a trip to the hospital. But, apparently, hospitals in Adelaide and throughout the world, MUST have performed the WRONG operation on the WRONG patient more than once, so a patient is asked multiple times by numerous people their name - they want your name said AND spelled, address, the day you were delivered on Mother Earth and they want to hear from your lips which procedure you are having. Nice. Repeat process, repeat again, repeat...and so on. After 3 suspense-filled hours, I am led to the double-wide, swinging doors in front of the operating theatre and instructed to 'Sit'. A woman came bounding around the corner with a brightly coloured silk scarf wrapped around her locks and pretty blue scrubs. She begins the routine all over again: name, rank, and serial number, then she said that she had one last question. I looked at her and retorted, 'Why on Earth do you need to know if I have HAIRY LEGS?' Stony silence all around. She looked down, bit her bottom lip, turned beet red and gently replied, 'I don't, Ma'am; I need to know if you have HEARING AIDS.' Well for God's sake, I howled. Everyone roared and this one nurse who had her head stuck in a locker came out with her belly hopping up and down with laughter. She came over to me, placed her hands on my shoulders, and said, 'Child, I have had such a hard day and you just ended it on the right note!' I smirked back, 'Hmmmmmmmppphhhh, I probably need to consider a pair.' More giggles and we couldn't stop.
This is what I NEEDED...because I thought someone was going to have to push me through the surgery door. I hopped right up on that table and announced that I had shaved my legs just for them. Lights out.
Is is not THE strangest sensation in the whole wide world that you can close you eyes, lose 40 plus minutes of your life and many people (strangers) get to know what happened to your body, your mind, your soul, your spirit...except for YOU? You never get those minutes back, folks. Then...YOU WAKE UP in completely different surroundings. More than WEIRD. Eerie. Strange. Mind-boggling. Bizarre. I could go on...THINK ABOUT IT THOUGH.
I suppose it would be no different than consuming far toooooooooo much alcohol. Who wants to be that out of control? Admittedly, I have been there, but...thinking about it now - My God - ANYTHING could have happened. That is a very scary prospect. And, why would anyone not want to be aware of what is going on in their own life? Well, pain. Pain for sure. Thank goodness for modern medicine. I don't suppose I would have minded being awake only IF I did not feel any pain.
And, then...there are menacing people who slip insipid drugs into your cocktail of choice to make certain you cannot be in control. Those people are called bastards.
And so...we medicate...we lace our brains with alcohol, pills, pot and/or anything that takes away the hurt or the stress or the madness or makes us relax.
I suppose...
This post turned into something completely different from its beginning. But, the moments I LOST made me think about what my BODY had experienced.
HAIRY LEGS or HEARING AIDS - Hmmmmmmmpffff, still sound similar to me.
Cheers,
From Blanco, the 'Not hearing so well while we roam' of The Roaming Stevens.
PS: Tinto is the MOST FUN person to have take care of you. He even DANCES when he serves you with a SMILE ON HIS FACE!
And, as always, PLEASE EXCUSE TYPOS.
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