A serious note...close to my heart.
The majority of the posts in this blog are about fun, silliness, travel and various aspects of living. Life is not always about great adventure nor is it always upbeat and positive. Social media makes it appear that everyone is having a terrific time and any world may be better or more vibrant than yours. Tons of teenagers think that; as adults we need to bring them back into the real world...time and time again. Today, I am posting about a serious matter. So...IF you are not interested in anything, but fun and light heartedness...this is not the post for you.
On the Today Show this morning...I heard Maria Shriver talking about transitioning; how all of us seem to be in some sort of new/different space and attempting to adjust. The adjustment phase is the TOUGH period. PERIOD.
Most of us have read or been told the MAJOR stressful changes in life can be: moving house, getting married, getting divorced, beginning a new job, the death of a loved one. But, from what I can see...any sort of change in schedule - moving from middle school to high school, leaving high school...transitioning to university, job hunting, breaking up with your friend - (whether romantic or not...), children leaving the home and leaving you as 'empty nesters', dealing with the dreaded flu (or any illness) that won't go away and of course, living with a debilitating disease can send anyone into panic or extreme stress periods.
High stress that is long-term does major damage. Many of us shrug it off and continue to continue to continue to DO what we have been doing.
Changes have been made and awareness of mental health issues may be higher than ever before. Personally, I don't think mental illness is looked at the same way as a person suffering physically; society still has a lot of work ahead.
Because I lost a son to suicide, my only son and the FIRST male born in 4 generations (more in a later post) - I remain super vigilant - hyper vigilant of warning signs of any sort of mental distress. Signs are all around us. It appears many of us are carrying a lot of weight on our shoulders OR in our heads. Teenagers' bodies and minds are still growing and more than likely have not developed the coping factors that adults have learned.
On the news only moments ago an announcement was made that middle school children should now be tested for depression during their annual physical exam. 2 out of 3 children go undiagnosed. Parents should be watching pre-teens and teens: Are they backing away from social engagements? Do they appear to have low self-esteem? Are grades becoming lower? Are they complaining that they didn't sleep well the night before? Have they lost interest in the activities or hobbies that used to provide joy? Are they unable to follow simple instructions or complete small tasks? Does everything seem overwhelming to them?
I am certainly no expert in any facet of mental health or mental illness. The only episode to which I can speak is my son's life. More than likely many people have experienced the loss of a dear mate, college roommate, colleague, or loved one by suicide. At this exact moment, I am not researching statistics. Suicide has been around since the beginning of time - or well, at least since someone began documenting the stories of life. Suicide has been thought of or looked at differently throughout the centuries, too. The way in which suicide was regarded changed significantly when Christianity was developed. But, again, I am not a scholar - only a concerned parent, grand-parent, and community member whether I reside in Athens, Georgia, Memphis, Tennessee or Kapunda, South Australia.
According to the American Psychiatric Association, 50% of cases of mental illness begin as early as 14 years of age (mind-blowing) - and three-quarters begin by the age of 24. I don't know about you, but 14 is such a tender age and these facts were hard for me to comprehend.
Scholars differ in opinion - do maternal genes cause the brain to be 'wired differently' OR environmental issues? Did prenatal care suffer or was it nonexistent??? Some scholars say mental illness is a combination of many factors, external and genetic.
WHO really knows? But, more importantly when a loved one is diagnosed (I think) it is far more important to calmly discuss outcomes and solutions instead of focusing on the problem. No 'putting your head' in the sand, I certainly do not mean to infer that, but one calm head at least...keeps those around you from stressing out.
I think, too, (but...only as a concerned person)...that talking through stressful situations or fears helps in a myriad of ways. It is not that I am against meds; medications have helped millions, but do meds always have to be a first choice??? Seems to be that way, at least in America. I am sincerely grateful that some of the newer medications can make a positive difference.
Personally speaking from the experience I lived through with my son - he did not want to take ANY meds because he said that 'the meds did not allow him to 'feel' anything and that he did not feel like himself when he took them. You know...good or bad...we all get used to living with our own thoughts in our own body and we don't want to experience foreign feelings; no doubt, those feelings/thoughts might make us extremely uncomfortable. I have heard this same sentiment from other parents time and time again - their child refused to continue medications. Many of you would respond, 'Well, those same medications may have prevented his suicide.' And, I will never know. I DO know, however, that laws change and once your child becomes an adult there is no way of forcing medication compliance; parents can only encourage.
This post has a simple message: stay vigilant, observe your child, adolescent, pre-teen, teenager or young adult as often as possible and ask...ask questions with love and kindness in your voice. IF you sense something 'off' and IF the person in your life IS having difficulty...talk about options, individual counseling, group counseling...or encourage breakfast, lunch, or dinner out with a friend. Never hurts to start small; no guarantees that any of these suggestions will work; all I can tell you is that you will never learn to forgive yourself if you don't...continue to...try. Suggestions can never become demands. Get the family physician involved first.
If you have ever witnessed a panic attack or someone suffering severe anxiety...sometimes you can't believe your eyes. In other words...it's hard to recognize the person experiencing the trauma. And...because you don't or can't identify with what you are seeing, you might say, 'C'mon, get up. It's okay. You'll be fine.' I promise you any words you may utter out of your mouth will sound dismissive. What that person is experiencing is enormous and you cannot simply tell someone to 'Get over it'...because...they cannot. These situations take time, caring, and calmness. Everyone needs to keep a cool head. EASIER SAID than done. I know this.
I would be MOST interested to hear from any of you regarding success stories - a loved one coming through the dark side to the light. Contact: email ~ stevensofmemphis@gmail.com
Posted with Care and Concern,
Blanco, of The Roaming Stevens
SUICIDE PREVENTION in the States: Lifeline - 800 273 8255
MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS: 877 903 2130 Additional number: 866 296 6765
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
SUICIDE PREVENTION and CRISIS SUPPORT in Australia: Lifeline - 13 11 14
On the Today Show this morning...I heard Maria Shriver talking about transitioning; how all of us seem to be in some sort of new/different space and attempting to adjust. The adjustment phase is the TOUGH period. PERIOD.
Most of us have read or been told the MAJOR stressful changes in life can be: moving house, getting married, getting divorced, beginning a new job, the death of a loved one. But, from what I can see...any sort of change in schedule - moving from middle school to high school, leaving high school...transitioning to university, job hunting, breaking up with your friend - (whether romantic or not...), children leaving the home and leaving you as 'empty nesters', dealing with the dreaded flu (or any illness) that won't go away and of course, living with a debilitating disease can send anyone into panic or extreme stress periods.
High stress that is long-term does major damage. Many of us shrug it off and continue to continue to continue to DO what we have been doing.
Changes have been made and awareness of mental health issues may be higher than ever before. Personally, I don't think mental illness is looked at the same way as a person suffering physically; society still has a lot of work ahead.
Because I lost a son to suicide, my only son and the FIRST male born in 4 generations (more in a later post) - I remain super vigilant - hyper vigilant of warning signs of any sort of mental distress. Signs are all around us. It appears many of us are carrying a lot of weight on our shoulders OR in our heads. Teenagers' bodies and minds are still growing and more than likely have not developed the coping factors that adults have learned.
On the news only moments ago an announcement was made that middle school children should now be tested for depression during their annual physical exam. 2 out of 3 children go undiagnosed. Parents should be watching pre-teens and teens: Are they backing away from social engagements? Do they appear to have low self-esteem? Are grades becoming lower? Are they complaining that they didn't sleep well the night before? Have they lost interest in the activities or hobbies that used to provide joy? Are they unable to follow simple instructions or complete small tasks? Does everything seem overwhelming to them?
I am certainly no expert in any facet of mental health or mental illness. The only episode to which I can speak is my son's life. More than likely many people have experienced the loss of a dear mate, college roommate, colleague, or loved one by suicide. At this exact moment, I am not researching statistics. Suicide has been around since the beginning of time - or well, at least since someone began documenting the stories of life. Suicide has been thought of or looked at differently throughout the centuries, too. The way in which suicide was regarded changed significantly when Christianity was developed. But, again, I am not a scholar - only a concerned parent, grand-parent, and community member whether I reside in Athens, Georgia, Memphis, Tennessee or Kapunda, South Australia.
According to the American Psychiatric Association, 50% of cases of mental illness begin as early as 14 years of age (mind-blowing) - and three-quarters begin by the age of 24. I don't know about you, but 14 is such a tender age and these facts were hard for me to comprehend.
Scholars differ in opinion - do maternal genes cause the brain to be 'wired differently' OR environmental issues? Did prenatal care suffer or was it nonexistent??? Some scholars say mental illness is a combination of many factors, external and genetic.
WHO really knows? But, more importantly when a loved one is diagnosed (I think) it is far more important to calmly discuss outcomes and solutions instead of focusing on the problem. No 'putting your head' in the sand, I certainly do not mean to infer that, but one calm head at least...keeps those around you from stressing out.
I think, too, (but...only as a concerned person)...that talking through stressful situations or fears helps in a myriad of ways. It is not that I am against meds; medications have helped millions, but do meds always have to be a first choice??? Seems to be that way, at least in America. I am sincerely grateful that some of the newer medications can make a positive difference.
Personally speaking from the experience I lived through with my son - he did not want to take ANY meds because he said that 'the meds did not allow him to 'feel' anything and that he did not feel like himself when he took them. You know...good or bad...we all get used to living with our own thoughts in our own body and we don't want to experience foreign feelings; no doubt, those feelings/thoughts might make us extremely uncomfortable. I have heard this same sentiment from other parents time and time again - their child refused to continue medications. Many of you would respond, 'Well, those same medications may have prevented his suicide.' And, I will never know. I DO know, however, that laws change and once your child becomes an adult there is no way of forcing medication compliance; parents can only encourage.
This post has a simple message: stay vigilant, observe your child, adolescent, pre-teen, teenager or young adult as often as possible and ask...ask questions with love and kindness in your voice. IF you sense something 'off' and IF the person in your life IS having difficulty...talk about options, individual counseling, group counseling...or encourage breakfast, lunch, or dinner out with a friend. Never hurts to start small; no guarantees that any of these suggestions will work; all I can tell you is that you will never learn to forgive yourself if you don't...continue to...try. Suggestions can never become demands. Get the family physician involved first.
If you have ever witnessed a panic attack or someone suffering severe anxiety...sometimes you can't believe your eyes. In other words...it's hard to recognize the person experiencing the trauma. And...because you don't or can't identify with what you are seeing, you might say, 'C'mon, get up. It's okay. You'll be fine.' I promise you any words you may utter out of your mouth will sound dismissive. What that person is experiencing is enormous and you cannot simply tell someone to 'Get over it'...because...they cannot. These situations take time, caring, and calmness. Everyone needs to keep a cool head. EASIER SAID than done. I know this.
I would be MOST interested to hear from any of you regarding success stories - a loved one coming through the dark side to the light. Contact: email ~ stevensofmemphis@gmail.com
Posted with Care and Concern,
Blanco, of The Roaming Stevens
SUICIDE PREVENTION in the States: Lifeline - 800 273 8255
MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS: 877 903 2130 Additional number: 866 296 6765
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
SUICIDE PREVENTION and CRISIS SUPPORT in Australia: Lifeline - 13 11 14
Many thanks to the readers sending emails through; some are heart-wrenching - many are uplifting. Thank you enormously for taking the time to share your thoughts and your life experiences.
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