The 'SOUL' reason for visiting Memphis.
My fabulous Mom left me a very distinctive 'To Do' list upon her death. It was difficult for me to abide by everything...but, for the most part I did.
The single MOST important item was a request to spread her ashes in Tom Lee Park in her place of birth, Memphis, Tennessee, by the mighty Mississippi. Mom did not want to go INTO the muddy Mississippi, but be placed in the sunshine on the bluffs. A very dear mate of mine pointed out to me, 'Well, Judy may NOT want to go into the Mississippi River, but the very first time we have a hard rain that is where she will land.' Hard to even conceive; don't want to think about it.
Judy, also, did not receive a sunny day. I like to think that God was crying with us. Hmmmmm...
The sweetest people, the friends who assisted Judy in every way in her very last years and days made the trek to Riverside Drive and brought their umbrellas. We probably looked like a very strange group. No one knew whether to laugh or talk or smile - no one knew really what to do. Certainly I was so nervous I felt ill, but it was hugely important to honour Judy. It was my privilege. It was my duty and responsibility as her only surviving child. I loved my Mom with every beat of my heart and miss her tremendously. Judy still comes to me in my dreams and that makes me feel some sort of comfort. I have said in my posts prior that my heart has deep compassion and empathy for anyone whom has lost a beloved parent. The world and the way we look at it and the way in which we navigate through it...changes after the death of a dear, loved one.
So, the weekend was bittersweet. Judy's precious great-grand-daughter was able to experience "Judy's Downtown" for the very first time and Mom would have loved watching her. Saturday was filled with sadness and kindness. Judy's intimate group made their way over to the Rendezvous and met some other couples there to end the early afternoon on an upbeat note. For over 2 months I have been extremely anxious about Saturday. The small service was taking over my mental capacity because I wanted everything to be right for my Mother. Even in death, I did not want to think of letting her down. That's funny or strange because there are NO rules. People fall into place, words spring to mind, memories are surging forth, and a memorial service takes its own form and shape - it becomes organic with a life of its own. Even though there is sadness there is a celebration and acknowledgement of a life well lived. So, another life lesson I am still working on: breathe when you feel overwhelmed and anxious. Breathe a lot.
Remember as a child when/if you hurt your best pal's feelings or made him/her sad or mad...within a few days you were back together on the playground or having sleepovers? Remember how resilient you were? Well, life lesson #2: When you are an adult and you screw up - make a mistake and hurt/anger a dear mate: apologize immediately. At this age when I make a mistake that is hurtful I don't bounce back. Life IS far too short. No guarantees ever. Even at 89.5 years of age, my Mother wanted more of life. Apologize. I know that every single day I can be a better person than I was the day before.
My mates, my daughter's friends, and the 2 friends my Mom had remaining said that Judy would have approved of the afternoon. Yes, of course, I would provide photos if I could. After all, my only desire was to receive Judy's Seal of Approval. Rest easy, Mom and please continue to visit me in my dreams. YOU are loved. YOU are missed.
I am signing off now. For those of you whom are interested in knowing a little more about a very fabulous woman, my Mom, I will include her obituary below. Thanks.
Love. Be Kind As Often as Your Day Allows.
Sad and Happy,
Blanco of The Roaming Stevens
In Memory of Judy Cobb
December 14, 1927 - June 30, 2017
Marion Kathleen Judy Cobb recently answered a last request to take dictation.
This was a direct order from above. Judy, known for her lightning fast short-hand skills and in possession of a myriad of tiny, top spiral bound notebooks containing the scribbles of an ancient language, had the premonition this task was imminent. Judy could sit before a typewriter, ancient or electric, and set it on fire...never once looking at the keys. Was this her only claim to fame? No. But these skills astounded anyone who was a witness. Judy also cooked a mean fried chicken and home-made potato salad giving no one the recipe. I know for a fact that some of my former boyfriends would come to our house hopeful that a fried chicken dinner would be served, but...yet...still there was another reason because I watched and I 'saw' what happened next. The boys would come to gaze upon my Mother, they came to look into her gorgeous cornflower blue eyes...then, excitedly dive into dinner and...get the chance to look at Judy even more. I did not mind. My Mother thought she was feeding my hungry friends. She was AND she was beautiful. Her eyes were crystal blue and could shoot you down in a half of a glance. Here eyes were her voice; her voice of happiness, great grief, dismay, rejoicing and punishment. You knew where you stood when Judy looked at you. At times I felt I might die if she looked at me any harder. Is this Judy's second claim to fame? No. Judy retired (as Judy Lewis) from the Memphis Chamber of Commerce and the work she achieved provided her with the greatest sense of accomplishment and pride. Judy referred to herself as a 'Chamber Maid' and said she wanted to represent and promote Memphis for the rest of her life. She did not get that chance and went 'kicking and screaming' to Georgia in her last chapter of life.
Judy did hand down the 'eye trick' and I used it diligently while raising my children. Judy departs to take short-hand in the heavens above surrounded by her precious, fast-witted Father, Eddie Cobb, and her gorgeous, tall, tan grandson, Edward Cory McCulley...whom...no doubt, is elated to be with his Granny again. I already warned Mother that Cory's first request would be to borrow $40.00; not sure how he is going to spend it, but my bet is he will buy a few, new short-hand books for his Granny. Constance, Paw-Paw, and Cory will be waiting with open arms. Constance will be directing the 4 of them now; she was good at that. I, Patricia Gordon-Stevens, Judy's second born daughter, Kelley Rogers, grand-daughter, and great-grand-daughter, Summer Daye Rogers are thrilled we had my Mom sprinkling our lives with love, laughter, quick wit, and, of course, perfect grammar as long as she did...but, still...never...long enough.
Private service to be held ~ family only.
The single MOST important item was a request to spread her ashes in Tom Lee Park in her place of birth, Memphis, Tennessee, by the mighty Mississippi. Mom did not want to go INTO the muddy Mississippi, but be placed in the sunshine on the bluffs. A very dear mate of mine pointed out to me, 'Well, Judy may NOT want to go into the Mississippi River, but the very first time we have a hard rain that is where she will land.' Hard to even conceive; don't want to think about it.
Judy, also, did not receive a sunny day. I like to think that God was crying with us. Hmmmmm...
The sweetest people, the friends who assisted Judy in every way in her very last years and days made the trek to Riverside Drive and brought their umbrellas. We probably looked like a very strange group. No one knew whether to laugh or talk or smile - no one knew really what to do. Certainly I was so nervous I felt ill, but it was hugely important to honour Judy. It was my privilege. It was my duty and responsibility as her only surviving child. I loved my Mom with every beat of my heart and miss her tremendously. Judy still comes to me in my dreams and that makes me feel some sort of comfort. I have said in my posts prior that my heart has deep compassion and empathy for anyone whom has lost a beloved parent. The world and the way we look at it and the way in which we navigate through it...changes after the death of a dear, loved one.
So, the weekend was bittersweet. Judy's precious great-grand-daughter was able to experience "Judy's Downtown" for the very first time and Mom would have loved watching her. Saturday was filled with sadness and kindness. Judy's intimate group made their way over to the Rendezvous and met some other couples there to end the early afternoon on an upbeat note. For over 2 months I have been extremely anxious about Saturday. The small service was taking over my mental capacity because I wanted everything to be right for my Mother. Even in death, I did not want to think of letting her down. That's funny or strange because there are NO rules. People fall into place, words spring to mind, memories are surging forth, and a memorial service takes its own form and shape - it becomes organic with a life of its own. Even though there is sadness there is a celebration and acknowledgement of a life well lived. So, another life lesson I am still working on: breathe when you feel overwhelmed and anxious. Breathe a lot.
Remember as a child when/if you hurt your best pal's feelings or made him/her sad or mad...within a few days you were back together on the playground or having sleepovers? Remember how resilient you were? Well, life lesson #2: When you are an adult and you screw up - make a mistake and hurt/anger a dear mate: apologize immediately. At this age when I make a mistake that is hurtful I don't bounce back. Life IS far too short. No guarantees ever. Even at 89.5 years of age, my Mother wanted more of life. Apologize. I know that every single day I can be a better person than I was the day before.
My mates, my daughter's friends, and the 2 friends my Mom had remaining said that Judy would have approved of the afternoon. Yes, of course, I would provide photos if I could. After all, my only desire was to receive Judy's Seal of Approval. Rest easy, Mom and please continue to visit me in my dreams. YOU are loved. YOU are missed.
I am signing off now. For those of you whom are interested in knowing a little more about a very fabulous woman, my Mom, I will include her obituary below. Thanks.
Love. Be Kind As Often as Your Day Allows.
Sad and Happy,
Blanco of The Roaming Stevens
In Memory of Judy Cobb
December 14, 1927 - June 30, 2017
Marion Kathleen Judy Cobb recently answered a last request to take dictation.
This was a direct order from above. Judy, known for her lightning fast short-hand skills and in possession of a myriad of tiny, top spiral bound notebooks containing the scribbles of an ancient language, had the premonition this task was imminent. Judy could sit before a typewriter, ancient or electric, and set it on fire...never once looking at the keys. Was this her only claim to fame? No. But these skills astounded anyone who was a witness. Judy also cooked a mean fried chicken and home-made potato salad giving no one the recipe. I know for a fact that some of my former boyfriends would come to our house hopeful that a fried chicken dinner would be served, but...yet...still there was another reason because I watched and I 'saw' what happened next. The boys would come to gaze upon my Mother, they came to look into her gorgeous cornflower blue eyes...then, excitedly dive into dinner and...get the chance to look at Judy even more. I did not mind. My Mother thought she was feeding my hungry friends. She was AND she was beautiful. Her eyes were crystal blue and could shoot you down in a half of a glance. Here eyes were her voice; her voice of happiness, great grief, dismay, rejoicing and punishment. You knew where you stood when Judy looked at you. At times I felt I might die if she looked at me any harder. Is this Judy's second claim to fame? No. Judy retired (as Judy Lewis) from the Memphis Chamber of Commerce and the work she achieved provided her with the greatest sense of accomplishment and pride. Judy referred to herself as a 'Chamber Maid' and said she wanted to represent and promote Memphis for the rest of her life. She did not get that chance and went 'kicking and screaming' to Georgia in her last chapter of life.
Judy would have never told anyone, but she received "Outstanding Civilian of the Year 1986" and was awarded a spot on the USS Memphis Submarine while serving on the Military Affairs Council through the Chamber. Mother said the trip on the submarine 'Rocked'. Well, those may not have been her exact words. Constance Gordon-Johnson took the escalator 17 years before my Mother. Constance was Judy's first born and Mother cherished and adored this daughter of hers with a fierceness I have never seen. Constance was talented, intelligent beyond her years and schooling, and a force with which to be reckoned. Judy raised two strong women. I am left here to deal with the aftermath. And my world is stinging right now without Judy. It is with huge grace, love, and appreciation that I recognize we had the best Mom two girls could have ever asked for. I remain equally angry that she did not pass down the gift of jitter-bugging to me for she was, at one time, a champion and proved so at The Memphis Peabody Hotel.
Judy did hand down the 'eye trick' and I used it diligently while raising my children. Judy departs to take short-hand in the heavens above surrounded by her precious, fast-witted Father, Eddie Cobb, and her gorgeous, tall, tan grandson, Edward Cory McCulley...whom...no doubt, is elated to be with his Granny again. I already warned Mother that Cory's first request would be to borrow $40.00; not sure how he is going to spend it, but my bet is he will buy a few, new short-hand books for his Granny. Constance, Paw-Paw, and Cory will be waiting with open arms. Constance will be directing the 4 of them now; she was good at that. I, Patricia Gordon-Stevens, Judy's second born daughter, Kelley Rogers, grand-daughter, and great-grand-daughter, Summer Daye Rogers are thrilled we had my Mom sprinkling our lives with love, laughter, quick wit, and, of course, perfect grammar as long as she did...but, still...never...long enough.
Judy had a life long love affair with Memphis...
Just beautiful ! You made granny smile from ear to ear ❤
ReplyDeleteThank you. It was a sweet and special occasion EVEN in the drizzle. xxo
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