Mother's Day ~ 2018
If you have been reading this blog for a while you know now that I love 'FIRSTS'. Well, I thought I loved first times, but that's not completely true.
This past Mother's Day was a FIRST. It was the first one I have ever experienced without my Mother and there was nothing good about it.
I knew it was coming and I felt a sense of dread. My Mother is in my head most of my day anyway and I assure you Mom is still directing my life in my dreams. Tinto continues to wake up and ask me what kind of a movie I watched in my HEAD during the night. There are many mornings when I cannot tell the difference from my movie I experienced through the night AND acted in...from the reality of the morning. A bit spooky it is. Wears me out, too. 'Does my head in' as we say in Australia. WEIRD. But, no matter how crazy or scary or bizarre my dreams become - I welcome them. I relish them. It is almost as if I can call out to someone I love dearly, (alive or already wearing their wings) and they come to me. It feels like I'm a professional dreamer. I am getting really good at it ~ especially this year. Happy.
Could not post properly about my dear Mother in fb...unable to blog specifically about her on Mother's Day either. Some words you want to hold onto; keep close to your heart.
As old as you grow...when your Mother is no longer present in your life, it is disconcerting ~ especially if you were extremely close. This does not mean that I don't live in reality; it simply means that you finally come to terms with the meaning of the words: MISS. VOID. ABSENT. SAD.
Yes, yes, of course I remember the good days and the laughter and there are a million memories to treasure, but her voice is missing from my life.
Enough. It is what it is and Mom and I could not have had a better ending and we had some great innings, too. As an only surviving child to my Mom I am proud of what we accomplished together. Judy was such a vital, incredible, smart, vivacious woman in my life and my best teacher. I am one of the fortunate children.
When it comes your turn to take care of your elderly Mom or Dad, do it well. Shine. Be proud of your achievement, but know that it will be ONE OF THE HARDEST tasks you will ever undertake and get support. Reach out for support from a family member, a trusted friend, agencies, physicians...seek support or you will fall in a heap. Why? Because you become your parents source of everything - you will be required to meet their emotional, physical, mental, and possibly financial needs; you will be your parent's world. Most or many of their closest friends have already flown the coop and their world shrinks. They depend on you for their company, their joy, their connection to the outside world. The roles do reverse: You become the parent; they become the child. It's not bad; I don't mean this in a demeaning way. My Mom only suffered tiny bits of dementia towards her last weeks, but their physical strength leaves their bodies, too. Many times before I have said it was my privilege. That does not mean that this was an easy job.
And now...the circle of life continues. My daughter and I know what we want for our older years. It probably won't look the same way as my Mom's ending. I have told Tinto time and time again...'If I know WHO you are and I respond to you, continue to love me to bits. If I do NOT KNOW YOU I could care less where I am.' I won't know anything, will I? The choice will be Tinto's to make. I do think as a productive, giving, caring, responsible adult I (all of us) should have the right to exit when we wish. We know when our bodies and our minds are performing properly; we know when they are not, too. HUGE subject matter that should be given tremendous thought, attention, and discussion - - - wouldn't you agree? Thank goodness some countries are paying strict attention now to the right to die.
As a proud Mother and Grandmother I enjoyed the day by thinking of my child, my children...and my 'other' children whom Marcus brought into my life.
GOOD THOUGHTS BRING GREAT JOY. xox
Posted by Mother ~ and Other Mother ~plus Grandmother, Blanco
of The Roaming Stevens.
Happy to still be able to ROAM with the Wild Man, Tinto.
PS: Received a text from America advising me the captions don't line up with the pics when reading this on a mobile phone. Apologies ~ I do not know how to fix.
One of my absolute FAV pics of Judy with my babies!
Constance brought us FUN, wit, and pure craziness, sprinkled with LOTS OF LAUGHTER whenever she returned to America from Australia!!!
These 2 girls were inseparable ~ until Constance moved
My Mother and her life-long, most treasured friend, whom flew to Australia for our wedding and SURPRISED US. These tough, old gals knew how to PULL ONE OVER ON US!
SOME OF MY BESTIES WITH MY MOST BEAUTIFUL MOTHER!
My Mother adored these girls as much as I do!
Above photo ~ Judy 'goofing around'! One Easter these are the eggs she created and I WAS AMAZED. How fun!
Mom and Constance - they could get as dark as a coffee bean. I do not KNOW what happened to me... In this particular photo, Constance is white - not even close to the how tan she could become!
Janie AND Cheri...if you girls see this...do you remember how dark my Mom would get in the summer? It was simply uncanny. Mom used to say I'd rather be wrinkled and tanned then wrinkled and white. WHAAAAAAAT? The ONLY luxury in which I ever witnessed my Mom indulge was being in the sun in her garden or by a pool. The sun gave her pure, immense joy.
Pictured: 2 of the SMARTEST, STRONGEST WOMEN I have had the pleasure of loving.
This past Mother's Day was a FIRST. It was the first one I have ever experienced without my Mother and there was nothing good about it.
I knew it was coming and I felt a sense of dread. My Mother is in my head most of my day anyway and I assure you Mom is still directing my life in my dreams. Tinto continues to wake up and ask me what kind of a movie I watched in my HEAD during the night. There are many mornings when I cannot tell the difference from my movie I experienced through the night AND acted in...from the reality of the morning. A bit spooky it is. Wears me out, too. 'Does my head in' as we say in Australia. WEIRD. But, no matter how crazy or scary or bizarre my dreams become - I welcome them. I relish them. It is almost as if I can call out to someone I love dearly, (alive or already wearing their wings) and they come to me. It feels like I'm a professional dreamer. I am getting really good at it ~ especially this year. Happy.
Could not post properly about my dear Mother in fb...unable to blog specifically about her on Mother's Day either. Some words you want to hold onto; keep close to your heart.
As old as you grow...when your Mother is no longer present in your life, it is disconcerting ~ especially if you were extremely close. This does not mean that I don't live in reality; it simply means that you finally come to terms with the meaning of the words: MISS. VOID. ABSENT. SAD.
Yes, yes, of course I remember the good days and the laughter and there are a million memories to treasure, but her voice is missing from my life.
Enough. It is what it is and Mom and I could not have had a better ending and we had some great innings, too. As an only surviving child to my Mom I am proud of what we accomplished together. Judy was such a vital, incredible, smart, vivacious woman in my life and my best teacher. I am one of the fortunate children.
When it comes your turn to take care of your elderly Mom or Dad, do it well. Shine. Be proud of your achievement, but know that it will be ONE OF THE HARDEST tasks you will ever undertake and get support. Reach out for support from a family member, a trusted friend, agencies, physicians...seek support or you will fall in a heap. Why? Because you become your parents source of everything - you will be required to meet their emotional, physical, mental, and possibly financial needs; you will be your parent's world. Most or many of their closest friends have already flown the coop and their world shrinks. They depend on you for their company, their joy, their connection to the outside world. The roles do reverse: You become the parent; they become the child. It's not bad; I don't mean this in a demeaning way. My Mom only suffered tiny bits of dementia towards her last weeks, but their physical strength leaves their bodies, too. Many times before I have said it was my privilege. That does not mean that this was an easy job.
And now...the circle of life continues. My daughter and I know what we want for our older years. It probably won't look the same way as my Mom's ending. I have told Tinto time and time again...'If I know WHO you are and I respond to you, continue to love me to bits. If I do NOT KNOW YOU I could care less where I am.' I won't know anything, will I? The choice will be Tinto's to make. I do think as a productive, giving, caring, responsible adult I (all of us) should have the right to exit when we wish. We know when our bodies and our minds are performing properly; we know when they are not, too. HUGE subject matter that should be given tremendous thought, attention, and discussion - - - wouldn't you agree? Thank goodness some countries are paying strict attention now to the right to die.
As a proud Mother and Grandmother I enjoyed the day by thinking of my child, my children...and my 'other' children whom Marcus brought into my life.
GOOD THOUGHTS BRING GREAT JOY. xox
Posted by Mother ~ and Other Mother ~plus Grandmother, Blanco
of The Roaming Stevens.
Happy to still be able to ROAM with the Wild Man, Tinto.
PS: Received a text from America advising me the captions don't line up with the pics when reading this on a mobile phone. Apologies ~ I do not know how to fix.
One of my absolute FAV pics of Judy with my babies!
These 2 girls were inseparable ~ until Constance moved
to Australia. Mom lost a chunk of her heart that day...
My Mother and her life-long, most treasured friend, whom flew to Australia for our wedding and SURPRISED US. These tough, old gals knew how to PULL ONE OVER ON US!
SOME OF MY BESTIES WITH MY MOST BEAUTIFUL MOTHER!
My Mother adored these girls as much as I do!
Mom and Constance - they could get as dark as a coffee bean. I do not KNOW what happened to me... In this particular photo, Constance is white - not even close to the how tan she could become!
Janie AND Cheri...if you girls see this...do you remember how dark my Mom would get in the summer? It was simply uncanny. Mom used to say I'd rather be wrinkled and tanned then wrinkled and white. WHAAAAAAAT? The ONLY luxury in which I ever witnessed my Mom indulge was being in the sun in her garden or by a pool. The sun gave her pure, immense joy.
Pictured: 2 of the SMARTEST, STRONGEST WOMEN I have had the pleasure of loving.
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