Bizarre and Beautiful. Love and Loss.
It's been one of those weeks; you know the kind...you've made some plans, there are projects and goals to reach, but the week slips up on you and the end is nearing before you get stuck into it properly.
A lot has been said (much of it perfectly) about the untimely and unexpected and tragic deaths of 2 major personalities: Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. Why is it that we are so touched by the loss of total strangers? Personally, I believe it's because we each know a 'Kate' or an 'Anthony' and because we simply cannot understand how they could make a choice to leave this earth so soon. I think, too, that it is hurtful for many of us to picture the daughters left behind and the devastation these girls are forced to endure.
In these times I don't think we need to be judgmental. The judgment (to me) turns into cruelty. No one knows what mental state another is experiencing...no one. We cannot see pain, can we? We can see blood and therefore we know when a person has been physically injured, but...how do we KNOW when a person is mentally injured? We don't. Plain and simple - we have no way of knowing unless the person wishes to share or seek help.
It is up to us to embrace our loved ones and reinforce the fact that we are here to listen and talking (sometimes) does wonders. Letting it ALL out may keep a loved one with us for another day, month, year...WHO KNOWS? I certainly don't. But, this week has been painful for many of us and I am thrilled to watch and listen to people talk about these tragic deaths. Talking lets others know that it is OKAY to be bogged down or diminished or frazzled by depression or anxiety. It also allows others to see that they are not the only ones experiencing the black, dense fog...many are in the same dark place.
This week a very small and intimate group gathered to remember one of THE most remarkable men I've ever known, Ken Shannon. Let me be clear: Ken did not depart this world by choice. Ken was killed in a horrendous car accident and the anniversary of his death was last week. Ken left behind a beloved partner and so many mates, one of whom was my husband. Ken's sudden death left my husband a complete mess. Knowing how we feel about Ken and returning to Kapunda where we would have to try to move forward without him - stung. It hit Tinto hard, but the pain we have been experiencing is nothing compared to the grief his beautiful partner and his loved ones have had to endure. PEOPLE who go before us LEAVE A GREAT BIG HOLE in our lives and we have a responsibility and privilege to fill that void with memories and love and laughter.
So, we gathered and raised a glass and told stories that were spattered with tears and injected with laughter. The memories were fierce and we shall guard them.
Cheers to Ken.
Cheers to Kate.
Cheers to Anthony.
So, this brief post is not completely about suicide. It IS about loss. It IS about pain and voids. It IS about living in the present and watching and listening to your loved ones.
It IS about SAVOURING the moments because no one is guaranteed another moment with anyone. NO ONE.
Cheers to those people making a difference to our every day lives whether we see them in person and share a meal or purchase a beloved purse or watch a foodie show with eager anticipation about what is to unfold. Rest in Peace. People may leave this earth in different ways, some by choice, but a void...is still an empty space. A love lost. Hearts hurting. Children confused.
Partners still in shock.
A lot has been said (much of it perfectly) about the untimely and unexpected and tragic deaths of 2 major personalities: Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. Why is it that we are so touched by the loss of total strangers? Personally, I believe it's because we each know a 'Kate' or an 'Anthony' and because we simply cannot understand how they could make a choice to leave this earth so soon. I think, too, that it is hurtful for many of us to picture the daughters left behind and the devastation these girls are forced to endure.
In these times I don't think we need to be judgmental. The judgment (to me) turns into cruelty. No one knows what mental state another is experiencing...no one. We cannot see pain, can we? We can see blood and therefore we know when a person has been physically injured, but...how do we KNOW when a person is mentally injured? We don't. Plain and simple - we have no way of knowing unless the person wishes to share or seek help.
It is up to us to embrace our loved ones and reinforce the fact that we are here to listen and talking (sometimes) does wonders. Letting it ALL out may keep a loved one with us for another day, month, year...WHO KNOWS? I certainly don't. But, this week has been painful for many of us and I am thrilled to watch and listen to people talk about these tragic deaths. Talking lets others know that it is OKAY to be bogged down or diminished or frazzled by depression or anxiety. It also allows others to see that they are not the only ones experiencing the black, dense fog...many are in the same dark place.
This week a very small and intimate group gathered to remember one of THE most remarkable men I've ever known, Ken Shannon. Let me be clear: Ken did not depart this world by choice. Ken was killed in a horrendous car accident and the anniversary of his death was last week. Ken left behind a beloved partner and so many mates, one of whom was my husband. Ken's sudden death left my husband a complete mess. Knowing how we feel about Ken and returning to Kapunda where we would have to try to move forward without him - stung. It hit Tinto hard, but the pain we have been experiencing is nothing compared to the grief his beautiful partner and his loved ones have had to endure. PEOPLE who go before us LEAVE A GREAT BIG HOLE in our lives and we have a responsibility and privilege to fill that void with memories and love and laughter.
So, we gathered and raised a glass and told stories that were spattered with tears and injected with laughter. The memories were fierce and we shall guard them.
Cheers to Ken.
Cheers to Kate.
Cheers to Anthony.
So, this brief post is not completely about suicide. It IS about loss. It IS about pain and voids. It IS about living in the present and watching and listening to your loved ones.
It IS about SAVOURING the moments because no one is guaranteed another moment with anyone. NO ONE.
Cheers to those people making a difference to our every day lives whether we see them in person and share a meal or purchase a beloved purse or watch a foodie show with eager anticipation about what is to unfold. Rest in Peace. People may leave this earth in different ways, some by choice, but a void...is still an empty space. A love lost. Hearts hurting. Children confused.
Partners still in shock.
In honour of Ken; we miss and love you tremendously.
Ken's best mates for life...
More mates ~ cannot say enough GOOD and FUNNY things about our guy.
Ken was one of THE smartest and most unique individuals
I have ever known.
I wish I had a proper photo of Ken...
I have some GOOD photos of his GOOD mates, though.
After a very long week...and long weekend ~ sitting in silence is nice, too.
Posting with deep sentiment and pondering life and the life beyond. Hoping that this next week will reflect signs of hope and peace and goodness.
Blanco of The Roaming Stevens...
Raise a glass to those you are missing OR have a chat with them. Either way, I'm betting they will know.
PS: Please excuse typos.
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