Mr. Kemmer Cur

Let me please begin by saying that this was not funny.

This was not funny.

This was not funny.

This was not funny.

There.  I've said it.  Done and dusted. 

Stacy and Matt...I do hope you have recovered enough for me to share this tiny little story.

Well, hmmmm...rather an episode - an incident?  A mishap?  An accident?  A smashup? 
A calamity?  A catastrophe?  A disaster?

I can't get the picture out of my head because I KNOW these people involved.  I know them well.

They have a routine.

It's called a fun and relaxing evening - IN.  Sharing fun and food and adult beverages at home; either of their homes; they pick and choose and alternate whose home will play host to the shenanigans. 

Then, there is THE ROUTINE.  I'll explain as best I can.  It's not difficult.  It rarely varies. 

Here we go:

Camp chairs set up in a garage with, preferably, garage door open
Neighbours welcome to peek in and say, 'Hi Ya'll'...
Coolers in abundance, scattered about
Lots of ice
Drinks on ice
Mostly beer
LOTS of beer
a few nibbles placed on counter inside home - NOT all the time though
a grill waiting to be FIRED UP - FIRED UP - FIRED UP
multiple goodies for the grill - normally chicken or fish or kebabs
usually some VERY NICE, perfectly grilled scallops
Oh, and...music - lots of music - usually loud
corn on the cob for the grill, too; again, not always
set up for an easy, inexpensive, fun-filled evening
insert heaps of laughter ALL night long

Night going well; my daughter had not seen her dear pals for a good while and they also knew there would be a stretch before they got together again, so this night was planned to be special.

Hence, stuffed smoked salmon, nice tilapia fillets, and huge, juicy prawns or shrimp or whatever they're called now - ready to be turned delicately and grilled to perfection.

Matt takes his time when he cooks cuisine on the grill.  Matt is (to me) the perfect griller.  He enjoys it.  He relishes it.  He turns everything when it needs to be flipped AND he pays attention.

Matt smiles when he grills.  Grilling gives Matt great joy.  Matt's grilling gives others immense joy and pleasure, too, because the treats he serves are TASTY.  Truly.  Do you get this picture?

See Matt Grill.

Matt is chatting, sipping adult drinks, laughing, talking, and enjoying his expertise grilling efforts.

I wish I had a photo right HERE TO INSERT.  Matt's beautiful smile and outstretched tongs in his hand...performing his favorite art - GRILLING.  NO APRON.

Then, and this is the part of the routine that always 'GETS ME'.  They (Matt or the ladies) place the grilled to perfection goodies on an enormous platter and set them inside to be consumed later...after the last beer.  But, before bed.  Bed does not come on these evenings for a good long while, usually pre-dawn.  I know...RIGHT?  Unbelievable, but this is THEIR night, not mine.

My grand-daughter has a friend sleeping over because the air-con went out at her friend's house and we all know it gets 'Hotter than the Hinges of Hell' in Georgia.  Mamma may not be able to leave the hot house, but ANY teenage boy or girl WILL find another spot in which to sleep.  Can you blame them?  Hell, No.  There is the cat, Spooky, and the dog, Toby, and the grand-daughter and the visiting dear friend and the visiting dog.  The dog is a Kemmer Cur.  I am a lover of all dogs, but in my entire existence...this particular breed has not entered my psyche.  It's here now.  Here to stay.  Because....

While daughter, and Matt, and his wonderful wife Stacy were laughing and drinking and pondering the fabulous treats ahead of them to consume, Mr. Kemmer Cur hopped right up on that counter and decided to dine alone.  Yep.  Rightio.  Fish, stuffed and or other - stuffed right down his Mr. Kemmer Cur chops.  WHOOOOOOSH!  Apparently, all in one go.  Well, a few tidbits went flying onto the floor.

Now, it's late - really late at night and so, the GIRLS, the TEENAGERS take Mr. Kemmer Cur with them and head to Taco Bell.  I suppose that's what one does when a particular visiting dog (GUEST DOG) has made it his mission to devour the slowly cooked heavenly meal.  They tell no one.  Well, they may have mentioned they were heading out, but they did NOT ANNOUNCE that dinner had disappeared - JUST LIKE THAT!  Whaaaaalah!  Dinner has departed. 

Stacy must have gone in to use the loo.  I don't know.  I have no idea actually, but I DO know that Stacy stuck her head in the garage and asked my daughter, Kelley, where all the fish was.  Kelley continued to sit.  Kelley continued to tell her it was on the counter in the kitchen.  Stacy continued to squawk back at her, 'No, it's NOT.'  Kelley repeatedly offered other suggestions, i.e. the microwave, the other counter top...the fridge...this continued while Kelley still sat in the garage.  Then, I do believe someone must have seen some sort of tidbits on the floor.

Now, I can't tell you what happened next, but I DO KNOW THIS.  Matt lost his smile.  Matt lost his ability to think. 

Everyone was scratching their heads and everyone was STILL LOOKING FOR THE FISH.

But, this is not funny.  Remember, I TOLD you this in the beginning.  I cannot see through my tears as I type, but, really, truly, how rude was that Mr. Kemmer Cur?

I can ABSOLUTELY ASSURE YOU that no one, NO one was laughing.

Girls (teenagers) return home holding their dinner - their Taco Bell dinner and one MUCH FATTER, Mr. Kemmer Cur (Tennessee Mountain Hybrid dog known for their hunting and treeing instincts) - well, he didn't have to go far to hunt did he?  I bet he thought his owner would be SO proud of him...

Today, tonight, right now, I simply cannot type anymore because I'm having some sort of fit. 

I will leave the REST of the evening to your imagination.

The 2 teenagers had a complete and full lesson of the value of communication AND...incidents.  I think it's called Incident Reporting.  Yep; that will do.

My bet is that they'll be communicating things they probably never thought of communicating prior to THIS NIGHT.

Cheers from Blanco -
Missing the Sheer Shenanigans of My Daughter's Household.

Share when you Roam; sharing is nice.
Communicate when your Roam ~ communicating is useful. 
The Roaming Stevens